With Fresher weeks commencing across the country and the new academic year almost upon us, we’ve conducted a study into the unique, sometimes secretive and often misunderstood student species.
So for all those embarking on a journey into higher education this year, as you enter the complex University habitat, which species’ will you meet along the way? And which one are you?
Speed may not be their forte, but this meticulously-minded creature delights in the minor details of every task they perform. Often found, chin in hand, pondering the intricacies of his or her latest essay, wardrobe addition or home-brew endeavour, the Procrastinator may not actually finish many tasks they begin, but any project they do complete will be a sight to behold.
This fascinating creature is well worth closer inspection. While their intense interest in a particular subject can cause less informed members of the student species to scuttle, the Geek is, in fact, a very social creature.
The Geek is often identifiable by square markings around the eyes, and a penchant for T-shirts bearing largely obscure game or comic-related images. While he or she may prove to be a useful resource at times, the Geek also has all the knowledge to indulge in extremely long-winded monologues on almost any technology-related topic. As such, they should be approached with caution if you are tight on time.
Commonly found as close to the elder leader as physically possible, the Teacher’s Pet is often spotted with an arm raised high, high in the air. Witness the collective eye roll of the Teacher’s Pet’s contemporaries as their anatomy threatens to explode with sheer enthusiasm. They may not be received well by their peers, but it is, it seems, the love of learning that keeps their spirits high.
Delve deep into any independent cafe, and the chances are, you’ll come across this more niche variation of homo-sapien. The conditions of the campus coffee shop are simply perfect for this particular creature. The males are recognisable by an abundance of groomed facial hair, the females, hairless aside from a short fringe. Both genders feature curious, artistic markings upon their skin, and seem to have a proclivity for large spectacles.
The Student Activist
Found frequently surveying the union noticeboards, the Student Activist can, at times, be an outspoken creature. With strong opinions, this variation of human is more commonly seen at floor level, armed with a paintbrush, and a placard. Their sheer passion is most outstanding – but witness how many leave a wide berth around our Student Activist. Outstanding, but unappreciated, it seems.
The neatest of all the student tribes, this well-kept creature is likely to be spotted lurking behind once all his peers have left the learning cave, placing papers into files and specially allocated plastic wallets.
During feeding times, the Perfectionist may be spotted moving items of food around his or her plate into a particular formation – a far cry from the more unsophisticated members of the University social structure.
The Party Animal
This is perhaps the easiest of the student breeds to spot: dark sunglasses serve to protect sleep-deprived eyes from the sun, while a coat – often mottled with pizza or beer stains – often hangs, shabby, at his or her shoulders. The Party Animal is often accompanied by the faint whiff of nightclub dance floor, and has the somewhat unnerving tendency to laugh loudly as facts from the previous night are recalled.
This member of the University’s inhabitants retains their membership to the student community in title alone. Identifiable by their absence from the seminar room, the Non-Student contributes little to teamwork or student life, and is often completely unknown to teaching staff. However, when spotted outside of the campus habitat, the Non-Student leads a thrilling life indeed.
While others may find themselves fascinated by this creature, its bad habits should be mimicked with caution, for fear of facing a similar retreat from the student pack – and eventually University as a whole.
Bloggers: Win a Samsung Galaxy Tab S Tablet and 3 personalised T-shirts from Banana Moon!
To be in with the chance of winning a tablet and T-shirts from Banana Moon, tell us which of our student categories best suits you by writing a blog posts and tweeting the link using the hashtag #studentspecies. Be sure to include the strapline ‘this competition is open to all bloggers – for more info go to [URL of Banana Moon blog]’. If you like, you can also embed this list, or just the one that best fits you!
All entries must be posted by 11.59pm on Friday the 31st of October 2014 the winner picked at random.